I have arranged for you to join a bharatanatyam dance class, where you will learn the ancient and graceful art form that expresses our culture and spirituality. You will make new friends there who will support you and admire you. Come on, let's go."
Radha dragged Rajeshwari out of the bed and took her to the bathroom. She helped her wash her face and brush her teeth. She then combed her long hair and braided it with flowers. She applied some makeup on her face, such as kajal, bindi and lipstick. She then adjusted her half saree and made sure it was properly draped and tucked. She also added some more jewellery, such as bangles, earrings, necklace and anklets. She then made her stand in front of a mirror and said, "Look at yourself, my dear. You are so beautiful. You look like a goddess."
Rajeshwari looked at herself in the mirror and felt disgusted. She hated what she saw. She hated her mother for doing this to her. She wanted to scream and cry, but she felt numb and defeated.
"Mom...please...don't do this to me...I beg you...please..." she whispered.
Radha smiled and said, "Don't worry, my dear. You will get used to it soon. You will love being a girl. Trust me, I know what's best for you. Now come on, let's go. We don't want to be late for your first dance class."
Radha took Rajeshwari by the hand and led her out of the house. Rajeshwari followed her reluctantly, feeling like a prisoner. She wondered if she would ever escape from this nightmare.
Rajeshwari's first dance class was a disaster. She felt awkward and clumsy in her half saree, which kept getting in her way. She couldn't follow the steps or the rhythm of the music. She felt out of place among the other girls, who were all graceful and confident in their movements. They also looked at her with curiosity and pity, as if they knew something was wrong with her.
The dance teacher was a strict and stern woman, who didn't tolerate any mistakes or excuses. She scolded Rajeshwari for every error she made, and made her repeat the same movements over and over again until she got them right. She also lectured her on the history and significance of bharatanatyam, which Rajeshwari found boring and irrelevant.
"Bharatanatyam is an ancient and sacred dance form that originated in Tamil Nadu," the teacher said. "It is based on the Natya Shastra, a treatise on dance and drama written by the sage Bharata Muni thousands of years ago. It is a combination of bhava(expression), raga(melody), tala(rhythm) and natya(drama). It is a way of worshipping God through body, mind and soul. It is a way of expressing our emotions, stories and values through gestures, postures and facial expressions. It is a way of preserving our culture and heritage through generations."
Rajeshwari didn't care about any of that. She didn't feel any connection or devotion to God or to her culture. She felt like an outsider, a stranger in her own body and life.
She wished she could run away from there, but she knew her mother was waiting outside for her. Her mother had enrolled her in the dance class for six months, and had paid a hefty fee for it. She had also bought her several half sarees of different colors and designs for each day of the week. She had also planned to enroll her in other activities that she thought were suitable for girls, such as music, painting, cooking and sewing.
Rajeshwari felt trapped and hopeless. She wondered how she would survive the next six months, let alone the rest of her life.
She wished she could go back to being Rajesh again.
To be continued.....
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